Bean4Suare

The Process

The start of the series

when i first started writing Lustful Avidity, i handwritten half the book putting aside naming the book since I had not come up with it at the time, the main character was named after myself, the family dynamic was very close to my own, much of the character and close associations were drawn from similar experiences at times much of myself was written within the dynamics of the main character, I knew I have to leave some aspect of personality of the main character fluid and different to my own to allow readers to fill in the blanks and make the main character develop to their design.

The protagonist is Alexander although he should be despised as he is a murder, the reader can’t help but to side with Alexander The struggle that the character fights his morals and rational mind against desire and cruelty he wants to impose on others, the reader fights against the side of Alexander’s mind and compulsions against his true nature, the personae evolves into the Byronic hero.

The antagonists begins with one Dr. Richards whom is hidden in the shadows before it is later reveled that it was her setting up the main character during which time the lead investigator acclimates her position as another antagonists.

The story takes off with Alexander trying to figure out who is setting him up, as he removes his mother permanently, as he is slipping and questioning his sanity, also his compulsions, while continuing one relationship with a Nun, attempting another with the investigator’s assistant to extract information, while in love and a relationship with Bethany that is being pulled away from him.

The main character at the end of the first book is confronted by the investigator that divulges some information looking for answers which she suspects, he learns much from his mistakes, and his loss which was great on all sides.

After I had written the first book, I started editing and re-editing quickly discovering that Microsoft even when turned off still auto corrects sentences and phrases that may not make sense to a program but referring to Alexander’s mother as beast and other items Microsoft word kept changing the word to something different attempting to make since of the sentence which didn’t help the editing process at all! I still have issues with word document and writing.

 I still didn’t have a name for the book, it wouldn’t come until three days thinking about a name, the editing was complete, I had several people reading the book before publication and finally the name originally was to be ‘The Killing Art’ but that was taken so I added Lustful Avidity and in smaller font size ‘for the killing art’, so once this was done I had one more individual read the last past of the story and it was decided this was completed and so published.

                                                                                                                     ----A.C.

Continuing this process

Bethany Lachlann

       –one of many strong characters in the book.

 

   Alexander channing starts with an interest with girls with red hair one of many obsessions this pours into the Nun obsession since Mrs. Dome later he finds himself questioning his obsessions of redheads and sex mixed with torture and murder if there is a line is this where that line is drawn, however he’s compelled to cross the line, he realizes the line is simply arbitrary and is redefined by the mind’s eye or compulsions.

His developing love interest is Bethany, she is opinionated, intelligent, she sees the potential in others even when they are hidden from themselves, she is an articulate strong person, with a confirming voice she changes and sways minds, and deflects arguments to a mutual conversation, she could manipulate and play a persona but prefers not to entertain the thought, she will always concede to the kind act first before giving in to malice.

Alexander, as he spends more time with her, that Bethany has all the qualities of humanity that he loves about her, that perhaps being around her, she could positively influence his outlook or even quiet his compulsions that her influences would make him into a better person.

As he is faced with the reality of her importance to him, she is soon taken from him as a consequence of him playing this game with Dr. Richards.

   I had to build a character that had qualities that played in contrast to the main character and still retain her unique personality and remain relatable to the reader, to make the character realistic I molded this character from some of the personality traits from several people and a little from my own

Her untimely demise would later open to a similar relationship, for the sequel to this book, the new girl in Alexander’s life will be extremely different yet have a familiar feel to it.

                                 And I will leave this on that note…

Sergeant Arisha Cusae

                                          -an interesting character 

In the first book I wrote about a head strong determined woman investigator who was tasked to lead the investigation of a string of murders that eventually led her to Alexander Channing’s house whose mother was brutally killed, but she was investigating the Nun Mary or Mrs. Dome’s alleged abuse and rape of Alexander Channing,

 as ongoing as the investigation spiraled into a blazing dumpster fire, she also led the second investigation of the ongoing string of murders in the area, as she had strongly suspected Alex to be the main and only suspect in his mother’s killing however with little to no leads or clues to link him to her or any murders she later had to recuse herself as lead investigator on his case and leave cases cold but not forgotten as she blatantly remined Alexander if he continued on this path she would not be far from him, just before his departure.

Children during this time was not so easily considered as vicious cold murderers, Sgt. Cusae definitely had her work cut out for her, while this was under way, a hidden person was collecting photos, following Alexander, and witnessing some of the murders firsthand, this hidden person would use this information to taunt Alexander and prompt the sergeant lean more into Alexander as he is the serial murderer.

Sergeant Cusae, is an intelligent, determined born leader, she is grounded in the field of science while breaking through on theories, and forensic science, at times she seams to make rookie mistakes but later its revealed that its to see what the suspect will lead her to, or react or slip and make a mistake,

Arisha Cusae never underestimates Alexander, and visa versa, earlier on the changes of methods, places and weapons during the killings led investigators to suspect multiple killers, as Arisha Cusae first arrived as included in the team of investigators, quickly she made her way to lead investigator, her unique way of thinking and the change in scientific method led her to believe that this was not only one serial killer but young, and the suspect could already be in her sights.

During this first book we see that Arisha Cusae does have past, occasionally Alexander pushes her buttons, we find she has a quick temper and at times has impulse control issues that carry into her questioning or investigating Alexander. During brief moments Alexander peers into her life, her childhood that is revealed that its not perfect that Sergeant Cusae’s outer exterior makes it seem, he discovers that she is far more complex person than first suspected.

The second book we find that because of the loss of life, and being blind sighted by another Arisha Cusae was demoted, and severely reprimanded for what appeared to be the lack of leadership skills, inability to collect proper data on the suspect to make an arrest, and loss of life some which where under her leadership which she had no suspects or leads, or questions answered regarding her assistant being murdered, much was unanswered that led to her disciplinary actions. We see that she knew it was Alexander, and difficult as the choice may be, she let him go knowing he would slip up and the evidence would be there to arrest him at a later time.

Much of Arisha Cusae’s life is left unwritten, it is the growing allure that is her uniqueness and rejuvenation much like a pristine landscape untouched by human nature that draws the reader in and is left pondering more about this investigator unknown untapped potential who was first thought up by Felicia, and with the stroke of the pen I scribe her essence that forged meaning to life on paper where stands Arisha Cusae, she is the force between the life she is trying to save and life being taken by Alexander Channing.

IMG_20210817_193000_973 (2).jpg

 

Into the second book

 

            The Forgotten/Throwaway kids……

 

   I had difficulty writing this part and anything that is dealing with this part of the subject matter, many children growing up into “the system” which is referred to as such by the forgotten kids, and within this book, this is a government and statewide funded obscured court system by which state and county allocates these funds to varies companies/organizations that are meant to provide a home/place for all types of kids being taken from their families and placed into a home like settings. some kids causally enter and exit within the system but usually kids here spend their entire childhood in such places.

 

During the 1970s, 80s, and 90s being placed into Placement was divided into two types of categories that were completely separate autonomy to each other, first was foster care, families open their homes to these troubled kids, this was usually a good environment much better than the next type which is group homes, these places at times were mini-jails, they housed more violent type kids with mental, physical and addiction issues from dysfunctional homes.

 

A forced mixture of kids, some were in for attempted/or committed murder, violent crimes or abused, at times the adults hired to take care of these kids had records yet the backgrounds if they were checked, took a very long time to turn results.

 

some of these places had their own rules, the adults, the staff members, Nun’s etc. the secretes, the rules, the abuses were great and far, between the staff abusing kids, or the kids inflicting their pain unto another

these organizations so well-funded kept their secrets,

 

so, Alexander was confronted with these same challenges, he quickly learned what he will endure, he will never be believed, the other staff member, social worker, counselor, teacher, the Nun’s, all, and every case the adult was believed.

 

The main character Alexander Channing due to his behavior was placed into “the system” as its written, you see some of the manipulation first going in as the social worker leaves him in their care, the facility has been closed which this is based on; yet imagine being ten years old being placed into this situation, although Alexander Channing was older, he was to stay only a fraction of time, that he was returning home, some fates were not so lucky.

this was troubling as I had to draw from my own experiences to convey the issues into this character, we were called the throwaway kids, no direction no hope to be saved, we had to form small families and had our own rules, we used what we had to survive, at times if it was really bad these kids ran away, no homes to return too, living on the street, they resorted to drugs, stealing, crime, prison, or suicide.

 

The main character gets a taste of this world through the different schools he attends with Nuns and some teachers, the manipulation of therapists and staff, much of what he goes through in and out of the system and other characters within the book I had to drive from my own experiences in life, writing parts of this book brought back memories I had long forgotten, this was the beginning of the world faulted in developing the main character Alexander Channing to embrace his nature and to inflict his cruelty upon his unsuspecting victims,

                      

 

Main character Alexander Channing despised Nun’s something I can relate.

From The chapter Beast and Bethany

     Known in the Book by many names but Samantha Channing

 

                  Interesting character Samantha Channing

---a mother’s love.

It starts with a lie brushed against the lips stirring within emotions that are overwhelmingly set aside another’s choice of free will, and quickly dismissed to be hastily chased by the next lie, broken, and forgotten is the path to despair, and to construct a falsehood of history is a path to oblivion….

Creepy blank gravestone in graveyard at night with low spooky fog.jpg

         Mother of Alexander Channing she would be the beacon of brutality against her child early on and throughout his young childhood before her timely death. Alexander’s earlier memories of her abuse Would lay the foundation of his early childhood development.

As she used her authority to manipulate, lie, influence, and leverage her hatred with psychological torment, she never hesitated or forfeit a chance to beat, torture, psychological and physically hurt Alex as she creatively tortured him every chance she could, her eyes viewed him with contempt and hatred without relenting,

never!

 As the years progressed, she became an expert in covering it up from others as she played the perfect wife and mother.

She used every method to torture him, her justification changed to fit her mood, her whim, an opening to satisfy a need, to kill him would be merciful yet she refused to let him off easy, over time she became accustomed to her cruelty, this was her way to cope, her actions were vindicated. With the exterior of a loving home, all excuses would justify her brutality as it increased.

After her husband and son left to travel for a weekend, she caught Alex off guard by striking him in the back of the head with a pipe, many days chained in the basement, a punishment for getting in trouble at school, fed leftovers, catfood, times as she felt more spiteful, she refused him water three days was the longest, until his lips were cracked, bruised, and bleeding,

Much of the time when John and Eric had left to visit, or business, vacation, she took this opportunity to chain Alex to the basement floor, she drugged him and beat him, cut him and burned him, the boiling water, or leaving him soaked during the night freezing until he caught pneumonia.

A trip to the doctors was normal, the staff would never pry too deep how the injuries were sustained they did their jobs while she made convincing stories, each new creative and elaborate story she invents to fit the lie, if a chance arose where the question would be posed, or the injury didn’t fit the situation, whispers amongst they nurses would increase, as their worried gaze yet not one dare to ask Alex’s view.

An allergic reaction to dye in food she used this moment to pull out his hair or a fight at school she would stab him repeatedly with a pin or a small knife she embraced his agony and pain as much as she could, she felt delightful. Occasionally Soothing him under suffocating water or later would be boiling hot water because she hated him,

As he grew older her scornful hatred would be matched to the abuse.

As I wrote this character into the story, how she influenced Alex’s earlier impulses, much of what she did to him was left out due to how the book was written, the perspective had to remain with him and being that he was narrating the story, to write this part in would be bias to the main character so I kept most of her abuse out, yet some stayed in the story, at times Alex mentions how he and his brother are treated differently.

Samantha only curved a small portion of Alexander’s life, after his first act in murder, the moments stretched time as his euphoric mind, the sounds, the smells, and sensations amplified, the release and cruelty was an addict chasing a high.

The Nun’s and other students played a role,

Samantha’s younger life was never mentioned or analyzed within the first book, she had the ability of unrelenting cruelty and untapped depths of depravity, she was spiteful and envious of Alexander, she could see the squandered unlimited possibilities that he could achieve over all of them, yet he chose a path that was not of their liking. Her upbringing I have not decided if I would piece it within the story, this would provide a better understanding how she interacted with Alex and why her behaviorism and demeanor toward him was antagonistic.  Part of her young life is discussed briefly in the first book; she was involved with a serial killer by the first book is imprisoned for life.  She manages to leave him to find John as he is convinced Alexander is his son.

Alex finds out in the most inauspicious way, transfixed by the mind’s turmoil, is the drive for killing genetic, could he be pre-exposed to become a killer, the nature to be suitable to developing into a killer or is the environmental circumstances fitted to condition the mind of a killer perplexed are the thoughts surfacing in Alex at the moment the truth is reveled to him.

Samantha was a woman who loved another yet forced to marry John due to a hidden pregnancy and unfortunate circumstances, much of how Samantha had developed as this character remained unknown, but bits of her life surfaces to show that her life and force derived from a more meaningful and interesting past that insists to be told.

Much of the next book is unwritten perhaps it will dive into her life or not!

This character took longer to write about because of its influence over Alexander and earlier in the first book, her voice echoes through his mind later after she is dead, I found this character interesting not for what was written but much of what was unwritten.

As the reader what do you think I leave it to you all!!!

                                     Interesting Characters –Part one

    This is a new piece of the interesting character’s section which I will be looking at the main character’s victims, and the psychological interpretation in brief for each one, the readers will be able to response to what they have read and convey that to me, at the bottom of each section, I hope you all will voice what you think!  my reasons and perceptive to how and why I wrote it like this, ultimately this is simply one way to look at it, as there are many ways this can be interpreted and so it’s open for interpretation to the reader, these are the points of discussion that I invite the reader and their interpretation if they agree or disagree; I invite an open dialogue… Always! I hope you enjoy the story.

During the time writing the first book lustful avidity, I start with the character Alexander Channing, in the first chapter this reverts back to an earlier memory when he was young and his first victim.

Chrystal Massey, was brutally murdered by Alex over crayons which it was not the compelling object for which he desired to kill her, but it was her act of lying and stealing, while her deceit and cruelty was known to him, it was her looks, and perception of a little girl being hurt by a boy, the immorality of perception of society in human interactions is wrong on every level, that a child could use manipulation to get her way, all culpability of her wrongdoing was dissuaded by her frailty.

Next the school is a private catholic school, which is fully staffed by Nuns, and Alex seems to be in hell at this school, during this time, described punishment was torture and brutal, from the chores, to beatings, isolation and the verbal, physical abuses happening within this school.

The first private school that is mentioned it highlights some of the abuses taken place, where the story focuses on is the sexual abuses as in Mrs. Dome.

This Nun has had numerous transfers due to her indiscretions and quietly dismissed as to not shine light into this depravity taken place to be public, much of this went on at these schools, but each school deals with it differently, the new private school the abuses are known within the school very openly almost casual yet outside of this private school it’s the best well kept secret.

Writing about this school reminded me of another that designing a fictional story takes some mirroring of the truth in life and suffering to convey the emotional state and physical place composed from imagination to be revived in reality.

Lorie Wadgeworth, is a girl that Alexander knows from school, she is like the others and he despises her, I would have liked to have written more about this character and her interactions with Alex, to expand on why he hates her so much. Lorie was very pretty over developed for her size, she used sex, manipulation and lying to get whatever she wanted, or her looks to circumvent the consequences of her actions, she would sell herself for the object at the time she covets most.  

 

Sandra much like Lorie only saw Alex as an object, something to be used and thrown away, he knew this and despised being looked at a particular way, Alex saw girls to be dull minded, carbon copy drones without perception of reality, primitive only to react by instinctive nature nothing more; later he realizes how erroneous and stupid he’s views were, realizes that was a narrow overgeneralization point of view, meeting Bethany changes his viewpoint of girls.

“I smiled at her, Oh Sandra, do I dare say, I am without sympathy for you…I do want something from you, I crave this interaction, this foreplay before your end.” --by lustful avidity.

His first meeting with Bethany, he didn’t like her, quickly during the conversation with her he noticed she was very different from the others, she had substance, a mind, in a peculiar circumstance he liked her, this created the initial mental and moral confrontation within himself.

Amy Devenshire, the next of his victims, his interactions is the same as the others except Bethany, Amy sees Alex as an object, and he knows this fact immediately this is the first common denominator to his reaction and behavior to these girls.

The mention of the two bridges Barneire and the Tuscun, these bridges would be the sight of the untimely demise of Amy Devenshire, this would show the evolving nature of his acts, his brutality and planning of his murders, how he plays with his victims, uses physiological torture, his interactions with his victims before they die and how Alex’s demeanor shifts to himself for a brief moment until he has to play a facade.

Alex struggled much of his life, with his mother despises and manipulating his father to believing something is mentally wrong with Alex, with the psychological and physical abuses he suffered under the hand of his mother then his father, his brother Eric never knowing the harsh truths of the differences of their experiences were in the same household. This brutal murder and how it is written is subtle the killing is different; this was a means to release him from her unending abuse.

Through the works of Alexander’s mother, he discovers Dr. Richards, which much like others around Alex, Dr. Richards was being manipulated by his mother as well and Alex knew it, he decided to take care of Dr. Richards at that point, in doing so constructed his fate in such a way that the consequences reverberated into the sequel of the book.

As I wrote the inner struggles which he suffered each time he committed a murder or torture, he kept struggling against an invisible line which he would not cross, he struggled with how far is bad than the depraved act, he struggled with the slighted view of morality, each time the line was redefined to suit his act, he struggled with his conscious, his morality and logical mind, while seeing how many adults around him that were in positions of authority or the church which accompanying them authority and with a sense of duty and moral obligation as to do right by their citizens and parishioners, much of what he saw was that they act the part while lying cheating and committing depraved acts, he realized many of them deserved no better what he would do to them, in many ways what he saw and experienced in his mind justified his nature.

I can definitely see in retrospect, writing the main character that the factors that define nurture and nature is intermingled that has played an important step in his development and perspective of the world, and his development into becoming a killer.

what do you think about the story of Chrystal Massey?

Sister Agnes School of reform, This is one of several schools mentioned in the first and second book, its ran and staffed by Nun's this does reflect an actual school, much it seems mirrors real life unfortunately. what did you think of this school and Mrs. Dome?

Lorie, the glory whore,,,

The main character hated this one for many reasons that were left unsaid, yet her view point, mind and manipulation counted and many other flawed personality traits that defined herself, by this he despised Lorie.

after reading the book/story what was your impression of Lorie? could she have lived instead of being Alex's victim?

Sandra went a similar way as Lorie, i added a phrase in the book, ones who read this will get this phrase... what personality quarks did you like or dislike? why do you think Alex killed her?

Initially what were your thought's on Bethany? did you see the ending coming? what was the reasons why you liked Bethany? or didn't like?

Amy Devenshire, the other victims of Alexander, she was a brief distraction but as with many who crossed his path, eventually found themselves in a grave. what were your thoughts about Amy? 

what did you think of the interaction between her and Alex?

I started with Alex's mother yet i will not go into detail about her and Dr. Richards, although Alex has issues with connecting with people, he has a connection with his brother that he loves, and he finds a connection to Bethany which he feels she makes him a better person, what do you think about his connection to Bethany? or his Doctor?